This week,some days back, i visited my grand mother's old home where i had spent my adoloscent years.The weather seemed placid and quiet as serene zephyr blowing the drums of my ear silently whishpered something to me that i couldn't comprehend .The sky seemed not so blue as it was tenanted all around by bulgy and bulgous clouds that purported to drop off any time their uncontrollable weight.The mountains all around ,however, seemed as stoical and intrepid as they had seemed five years ago when i had left that place-may 2005.The grass was so staggeringly green as if it had pledged to absorb all the rest colours of spectrum without dissent.Cute and mischievous boys,some of whom i could recognize as aggressive brats whom i used to offer candies had attained pubescence with hairy whiskers starting to grow on their face as they excitingly ogled at - you know what..Ahh !!the place was somewhat familiar to me;but there was something covert that had meantime changed - something secretive and inexplicable that i could not see but feel.What was it?To find an answer i decided to go again through those old aisles.
After walking few metres from my house i met a man with a beard.His hair was short and partially gone.He sat on a platform inside a shop idly analysing whoever passed by.On seeing me,his dreamy eyes woke up and he pleasantly welcomed me with a warm hand and smile.He was the first one to recognise his old forgotten yet familiar neighbour.
Further i moved on,in search of the inexplicable thing that had drawn me wandering aimelessly and selflessly.
I could see the mosque at a distance where my father and i used to go and pray.I wondered if the mouzing who we knew was still there,did he look the same or more crudely ,was he alive?
My anxities had no answer.All around the streets i could feel the aura of my puerility scaterred as i continued on my ascent to nostalgia.
Further confused and bewildered i walked down the lane and reached my friend's home.I had heard from somewhere that he had recently graduated from an engineering college.We both had grown together wandering the same old streets where now i stood alone stumped like a stranger.I knocked at the door to see a mid aged woman come and open it.It was his mother.I thought she would exuberantly greet and hug me.But oh!! she could not even recollect who i was.After much recollection and reminding she said-"OHHH BETA I AM SO SORRY,HOW HAVE U BEEN,ETC".And again to my disappointment, she told me that my friend had left and had gone to the bigger city in search of better livelihood.Again,I returned empty handed.In the darkening clouds i could feel the same occult and covert enigmatic force that had drawn me wandering from past several hours and the answer to which i had still not found.What was it?I desperately wondered as i continued to grow in my queasiness.
Hiding my uneasiness i moved along the main road till i reached what used to be my teacher's house.He had taught me when i was barely 4 to the time when i was about to leave.I had heard that he had got married some years back.I yearned to meet him but could not assemble enough courage to enter the gate as i had not once contacted him all these years of exile.Indeed,I have always pitied at my being such an egoistic soul,Ahh!!
Meantime, keeping its promise, the sun had grown red and had bulged down the horizon as I turned and wandered along the barns and open fields all alone trying to find an answer to the same question that had led me there.
As i sat wondering with my face held towards the sky i could see the moon making its existence known to me.It had ever since been a good companion of mine in all happy and gloomy days.I had always felt that it placidly yet galvanisingly smiles at my face though the science books taught me something else.I loved it that way.Its serene light made for the poise of my eyes.As the non luminous light reached me I thanked the divine power which i knew was listening to me from somewhere,for giving me such a radiant and effulgent companion.As soon as i opened my eyes i felt that my heart had found peace with the ditches of incomprehension being veritably vanished;thus I had found an answer to my question.
It were the unspoken words of love and care that i had not said to the ones who deserved them the most.The gap in expression that crept from nowhere poisoned my well-being and had been haunting me ever since i had set my foot on that land.This answer had found a new purpose for me catalysing the disappearance of my queasiness like evanescence of morning mist.
In due course of time the night had stealthily put its cover over the sky with the stary pins holding it tight throughout the celestial horizon.It was time to bid adieu to my grand mom.This time i didn't forget to say how much i loved her.It was time to say goodbye to those old aisles as i yearningly had a last glance at barren, dusty streets before turning back to head for home in the darkening echos of night.
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